Why I dont go to the movie theatres anymore..

..cause of some colourful Personalities I encounter..

  • Teenage Punk Kids

Virtually 80% of the unwanted noise when the movie begins comes from these punks. They are the ones that sit behind you and try to make saracastic quips to either a) friends b) Girl Friends c) Strangers d) Themselves. You try to be polite and turn back and give him the subtle glance – you know you imply ‘dude, please stfu trying to watch a movie’. But he knows you cant do anything cause well, your a wimp.

The punk will keep talking about either :

a) How he has seen this movie 100x times. (wtf are u still doing here ?!)
b) How this was the lamest movie ever— ditto as above
c) Tell/Guess the ending — Capital Punishement needed here.

  • Cell Phone guys

One of the classic cases. Rich guy with the latest cell phone. Like this guy here.

The damn thing will ring with not just a small beep, no but the latest and most cacophonic ring tone given by a) Pepsi b) the latest hindhi movie c) Loser Hindhi Remix of english rip offs. He will take like 100 hours to locate the phone, now that they have become the size of a grain. He picks it up, he will pretend to be embarrrased by this ,the cell is gleaming like a lost philosophers stone which emits more gamma rays than the screen itself. Quickly cups his mouth with his hands and ducks down low to ‘become invisible’ to others. NEWSFLASH NOOB We can still hear you although you have shrunk 50%. He will still be in the hall for the enitre 5 mins

Complex cases include handing over phone to friend to absolve of guilt or turn left and right trying to look innocent prenteding that the noise aint coming from him. Nice try dumbass.

  • Losers at the end of the row

One of the worst. Typical profile includes Loner, fat middle aged guy or a thief. Will come after the flick began 5 mins ago, and will make you lift your legs, water bottle etc so that he can slowly waft into his seat. He came late forgot to get the pop corn and pepsi so will again slowly move like a sloth thorught 100 seats block your view and get out to buy the stuff. Finally the intermission comes along you cast a glance at him. No he is seated happily does not budge.

IInd part of the movie. Guy drank too much, needs to take a leak , so again does the amoeba through you. U want to stab him as he passes you no doubt. My empathies.

Complex cases include people who get lost in which their row is and try the row infront of you, and then your row, effectively dissing you two times.

WORST CASE SCENARIO: OLD+SLOW+LOSER PUNK+2 OR MORE PEOPLE+CORNER SEAT+WITH BLADDER ISSUES+CELL PHONE RINGING+LONG SICK RING TONE WHICH WILL PLAY IN YOUR MIND THROUGHT THE WHOLE MOVIE


If I go to a movie theatre again, I will probably kill myself or the people mentioned above.

yes, I did that artwork myself..

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4 Responses to “Why I dont go to the movie theatres anymore..”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Seinfeld style !

  2. Akshay Kumar Says:

    Hi

    Choose the movie before u go the theatre . I don’t see every movie in theatre . And, if I see I choose how much to pay . For ‘Swades’ , I paid Rs.90 in Jan 05 , And It was Worth it .For ‘Salaam Namaste’ , I paid 100 bucks. Yuck ! It wasn’t worth 10 bucks. Rang De Bas…., I paid 60 bucks . It was fine movie was oK ! And, disturbances will always be there . I tell u , there r more at home when watchin a movie than in a theatre. The biggest didturbances at home when watchin a movie
    1) ADs
    2) Telephone
    3) Door bell .

  3. Great post!!
    Sathyam rocks 😀

  4. Kausha Says:

    :D. but you still had fun at MI-2 remember?

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